


Jester for a Day

by SumDumMuffin



Series: Absolute Hoodwitch Armageddon [2]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Depression, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 23:16:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21126884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SumDumMuffin/pseuds/SumDumMuffin
Summary: In which Knight Ruby is uniquely qualified to cheer up a member of the royal court.





	Jester for a Day

"Court Alchemist Goodwitch," said a woman. She had neck length black hair and was wearing the emblem of the royal knights, along with a long red cloak. She saluted. "Knight Commander Ruby Rose reporting for duty.

Glynda Goodwitch blinked at the intruder to her workshop. "I, didn’t ask for one? Also, you're not supposed to be in here?"

"The princess sent me here to cheer you up since you're depressed."

Glynda grimaced, because if her work was suffering to the extent that the ruler of the monarchy she served was noticing, it probably meant that she was less good at hiding it than she thought. 

"I'm not, _depressed_," she insisted, "It's more like, I'm just in a bit of a malaise of purpose and feeling, because of," she saved the air, "probably some combination of boredom, loneliness and lack of variety in my life."

Ruby exhaled. "Oh, phew, that's a relief. That's a lot easier to fix than depression," she said. Then she bent over.

"Ah-"

"Most of what I'm equipped to do is physical comedy," Ruby said, as she proceeded to do a handstand.

"Is that-"

Ruby fell onto her back. A few scrolls fell off the nearby book rack and some of the more volatile academical reagents spontaneously combusted.

"Funny?" Glynda concluded, but the point was moot, because apparently it was not. She threw some ice magic onto the flames before getting to Ruby's fallen form just in time to awkwardly stand by as Ruby picked herself up.

"To be fair, there aren't a lot of combat applications for handstands," she said, "So that just means I'm out of practice."

"Yeah, about that- aren't there more important things for our most accomplished knight to spend her time doing?" Glynda said.

Ruby shrugged. "We've been at peace for a while, and probably will be unless Weiss mucks up our trade agreements." She smiled and made eye contact with Glynda. Her smile was charming, and her eyes were bright, but that might have just been because they were pure silver. "And you shouldn't discount your own happiness. It's important to the princess, and the court, and to me."

Glynda took two seconds to react. She coughed and adjusted her glasses. "W-well, I suppose, that's fine..." 

"And besides, if you're right- and I'll believe what you say- you'd only need some entertainment, company, and variety," Ruby clicked her fingers at Glynda.

  
And so Ruby followed Glynda around, rarely contributing anything constructive as she fulfilled work orders and procured magic plants from the palace gardens and magical minerals from the supply depot on the edge of town.

  
"Oh, we're near the bakery," Ruby said, on their way towards the central market district. She had offered to carry Glynda's reagents for her, and Glynda agreed because she assumed that Ruby would be less likely to attempt physical comedy if she were carrying reagents. It turned out to be an incorrect assumption.

"That is correct," Glynda said.

"Do you want to get lunch?"

"I'm not hungry." Glynda hadn't really been hungry for a while.

"Well," Ruby rummaged through her pocket, "I was given some vouchers for free sweet rolls from the best bakery in the kingdom."

Glynda's face scrunched in consternation. "I've heard Ms. Niko's pastries are good."

"Yeah! Normally I get cookies, but the sweet rolls are more of a meal."

Ruby ordered for both of them, since she had the vouchers (And later, Glynda would recall that she never actually saw the supposed vouchers.) She struck up a conversation with the warrior who had become a baker after becoming a ghost.

Ruby ate her sweet roll immediately, so Glynda figured that she'd just wrap her's up and eat it later. But then Ruby waved her arms and started rambling this long story about her sister and being a traveling wrestler and something about ice cream.

Glynda idly unwrapped her roll and took a bite. It was, indeed, pretty good.

And at some point, Glynda realized she had accidentally, subconsciously, eaten her entire roll.

"And she spent the rest of the year in Vale." Ruby concluded. She made to get up. "Anyway, shall we get going?"

"Wait," Glynda said, "If your sister was a traveling bard, how did she end up as the royal chronicler?"

Ruby waved the air. "It's a long story." 

"An even longer story," Glynda said, incredulously.

"Maybe during a different lunch?" Ruby suggested, idly. She stretched her back.

"I- could maybe eat another roll," Glynda conceded.

Ruby smiled. "Alright, I'll get you one." 

And Ruby told an even more rambly story as Glynda finished her second sweet roll.

  
And at the end of the day, at the market, when Glynda was finalizing her resupply run, a small child playing under some kind of statue managed to nudge it in a way that would topple it-

Ruby jumped into the fray, ducking down to grab the child and then flipping over into safety. The statue shattered on the ground.

Ruby basked in the praise of the child's mother and some nearby bystanders, before returning to help Glynda carry her supplies.

"That was very heroic of you," Glynda said.

Ruby exaggeratedly poked her own cheek. "Aw shucks, lady. It's all in a day's work."

"And here I thought you told me that there weren't any combat applications to handstands.

Ruby chuckled. "Well it was more of a cartwheel, and only because I wanted to show off."

"Ah," Glynda said. She smirked. "You like showing off your, aha, lower half."

Ruby's face tinted red. "N-no! I meant more, physical prowess." She pulled out her cheek. "Besides, I wear shot trousers under the combat skirt, so it's not like, I'm showing anything..."

"Oh? So that wasn't a awkward excuse to show your butt to me?"

Ruby recoiled and smushed her lips together as the tint of red on her cheeks spread to the entirety of her face. "W-was that what you thought I was trying to do this morning?"

"Yeah, honestly," Glynda exaggerated.

"W-well, I'll have you know, that wasn't at all my intention," Ruby puffed out her cheek.

"Of course."

"I mean it!" 

"I do too." Glynda's smirk widened. 

"I don't think you do," Ruby crossed her arms. 

"What happened to believing what I say?" Glynda joked. 

Ruby puffed out her cheek. "Fine. I guess I'll take you at your word."

And once Glynda returned to her workshop, she found that mixing the standard potion requests for the royal court didn't feel so, listlessly pointless. Ruby sat in the corner as the alchemist worked, occasionally telling stories, occasionally performing physical comedy, and rarely contributing constructively.

And when when Glynda was done with everything, she felt a little bit of that inexplicable sadness return once she realized Ruby would have completed her assignment by the end of the day.

"So, ah," Glynda rubbed the back of her head. "Thanks."

"Well," Ruby said, "I hope that I was able to provide some of that-" Ruby clicked her fingers at Glynda, "Variety, company, and entertainment that you were missing."

Glynda smirked. "And also a view of your butt."

Ruby squeaked. "I told you, it wasn't _like_ that." She puffed out her cheek and broke eye contact.

Glynda chuckled, "But seriously. Thank you."

Ruby's face returned to its normal color. "No problem. And, ah, if you _did_ actually, have depression," Ruby glanced at the ground. "I, actually probably could help with that. Just, from experience." 

Glynda took a breath. She stayed silent for a few seconds.

"I thought you said you were just prepared to, do handstands and the like?"

"Nah, I actually said that general malaise was easier to fix than depression," Ruby said. "If it were the latter, I'd have to come around more often, for an extended period of time." 

Glynda took a breath.

Well, it'd mean actually admitting she had a problem, if she told Ruby that, maybe, possibly, it was the, um, latter of the two choices...

But it would also mean that she'd have an excuse to see Ruby again.

"Suppose," Glynda ventured, "Maybe I, do still need your help. What would happen then?" 

"Well, it'd begin with me visiting you tomorrow, and helping you out, just like today," Ruby said, "Except maybe I'd do a little less physical comedy." 

"But suppose," Glynda ventured, "That part has grown on me?" 

"Well, that means I'd have to practice my handstands." And then Ruby blushed. "But- but not for the reason you're gonna say."

Glynda laughed. "I didn't say anything."


End file.
